Series One/ post 3
Last week, I focused mainly on the importance and value of living with passion and desire. I was able to tie in the spiritual application along with the practical application from the first lesson my daughters and I learned from starting our own garden last year. We discovered both passion and desire make an excellent place to start because they become the foundation for ALL of life, not just gardening.
There is an initial joy in this discovery. It reminded me of finding a new love relationship. Life is full of hope and it’s easy to see good in all things when love is new. You may be just now realizing this truth in relationship with the Father. If so, I am so excited for you. Stop reading and take a moment to savor that. I appreciate the goodness of the Father for showing you these things. Don’t take them for granted. My hope is that you can use this new knowledge and wisdom to keep fueling your desire for the Father and keep your heart safe by protecting it in the days ahead.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (Proverbs 4:23)
Guarding your heart involves taking special care about what enters your mind and heart, protecting your inner self (thoughts, emotions, and desires) from negative influences. Protection is important to avoid a loss of heart. A loss of heart refers to “becoming discouraged, weary, or losing faith, especially in the face of adversity.” (Google AI Overview) After experiencing the initial joy of discovering passion and desire as a single woman, I failed to guard my own heart after I got married. Life became more difficult with all my added responsibilities. I became weary and discouraged, and my faith started turning into doubt. This is where I have found myself in recent years. Because I have experienced loss of heart, I felt it equally important to share not only my journey of initial discovery in last week’s post (https://revivingeden.com/id-rather-burn-for-you-than-fade-away-tobymac/), but also my struggle with some obstacles of desire. This week I plan to dig deeper into the spiritual aspect of passion and desire by sharing some of my struggles in hopes that it will encourage you to guard your own heart and avoid some of the mistakes I’ve made along the way.
As I have been reflecting on my own journey, I realize that there have been quite a few obstacles. I call them “roadblocks” because they have blocked and hindered my path (of passion and desire). I admit, most of my obstacles have been internal ones, but I realize (in doing some further research) there are also quite a few external obstacles. I hope your eyes will be opened to both as a way of grasping the importance of guarding your heart against these roadblocks and NOT let them come in the way of your passion and desire.
Internal Obstacles:
1)Fear
Fear caused by the belief “I am not good enough” has controlled me and turned into the fear of failure. I’ve felt like I didn’t measure up–I wasn’t a good enough wife, mom, or daughter. I found myself making comparisons with other moms from the school PTO or Facebook. Fear can also come from listening to the enemy’s lies. The biggest one for me the past couple years has been, “You have nothing valuable to say.” This one was directed at me so I wouldn’t share my journey through blog writing. Oddly enough, I have also struggled with the fear of success because of the added responsibility it would create in becoming a role model. The Father encouraged me to begin writing a blog seven years ago, but I kept putting it off due to fear from criticism and judgements I knew would follow success.
2)Doubt
Doubts became an obstacle because they were draining my faith, causing me to question the Father’s love for me and His goodness in my life. I didn’t realize my own self-worth or the goodness of the Father’s plan for me because of constant uncertainty I experienced. My husband lost his job several times and we had to move several times as a result. With so many changes, I didn’t feel safe and protected by a good and loving Father. All the doubts clouded my mind.
3)Lack of Motivation
My husband calls motivation “the will to do.” With all the fear, doubts, and uncertainty weighing on my mind, it created a lack of motivation. I just couldn’t seem to produce any internal drive to get me going. You know, a reason to get up in the morning, a sense of purpose. My passion and desire were dwindling, and it was becoming evident through my lack of motivation. Even simple things like washing dishes and folding clothes became difficult.
4)Dullness (Anhedonia)
My life as a busy wife and mom contributed to the obstacle of dullness. I found the monotonous routines of household chores, changing diapers, and feeding schedules draining my energy. Fatigue set in and produced a lack of interest (dullness). Things I once was interested in no longer excited me because so much of my energy became focused on surviving my day. It seemed like I was losing the ability to feel anything, like hope or joy.
5) Conflicting Desires
Whenever you have two or more desires that conflict with each other, you can also lose the ability to focus on your One main passion and desire. I found this happening once I got married. As a single woman, my single focus of heart (desire) was on my relationship with the Father because of all the time I could devote to Him. I would pray in my journals every night and stay in the Word every day. Once I got married my heart felt divided because I also loved my husband and my daughters and wanted to please them as well. You can imagine my dilemma because it’s important to love and cherish your husband and children, but they became the priority, and things became unbalanced with my conflicting desires.
External Obstacles:
1)Distractions
Passion and desire can be quickly overcome by distractions. I think this is one of my main external obstacles. For instance, I have a passion and desire to share my journey of healing and recovery by writing for the blog, but so many other things get in the way. Distractions come in the form of household chores, responsibilities, watching television, playing games, or spending countless hours scrolling through social media. Anything that takes you away from important time pursuing your passion and desire can become a distraction.
2) Negative Environment
Believe it or not, after you spend too much time in a negative environment, it can begin to drain your passion and desire, especially if that negative space becomes hostile. My husband has experienced this in several different offices. His new co-workers would perceive his arrival as a threat because they thought he was there to replace them. This happened several times, and the result has had a negative impact on his passion and desire. It made him question, “What’s the point,” and “Why bother trying?” “A negative environment is characterized by factors that negatively impact a person’s well-being, productivity, or mental health. These factors can range from interpersonal issues like bullying or conflict to systematic problems like lack of support or poor management. Essentially, it’s a space not conducive to positive outcomes and may even be harmful.” (Google AI Overview)
3)Social Pressures
I know this may not seem like a huge influence at first, but I know the pressures I have felt as a stay-at-home mom have also become a factor in depleting my passion and desire. The modern-day woman is pressured into feeling like we must become “Wonder Woman” and be everything to everyone. I am a wife, a mom, and a daughter, and my jobs seem endless. Help with school projects and homework for my girls, make a delicious meal every night for my husband, and make sure I am available for emotional support for my parents. It becomes even worse if you must juggle (already) busy mom life with a demanding career. I can imagine the pressures of providing a “normal” childhood for your children become even greater if you are a single parent needing to fulfill both parental duties. Social pressures can create confusion because they often make you question your own values and beliefs. Sometimes the need to conform to societal expectations and demands creates a fear of rejection leading to stress, anxiety, and poor mental health.
4)Limited Resources or Opportunities
Limited resources or opportunities can also act as a roadblock. It can create dullness (lack of interest) and lack of motivation because your focus can easily become hindered by what you don’t have. Sometimes this is more of a reflection of your own perception than actual reality. The temptation is to get fixated on limitations instead of allowing your passion and desire to advance your goals.
I’ve experienced many of the roadblocks (obstacles) I’ve shared. I found my passion and desire dwindling. I lost focus and the ability to set goals and stay motivated. I also felt less fulfilled because my passion and desire were no longer contributing to my purpose, and as a result I started feeling stuck (like I was not growing or maturing). I have a passion and desire for helping people find healing and restoration. Life got crazy after I married, and the enemy took advantage by feeding me lies. Lies became doubts, which became fears, which led to disobedience. Instead of following my passion and desire and do what the Father was asking of me, I let the roadblocks take over and stop me from pursuing my purpose. I am reminded in John 10:10 “The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy…” It felt like the enemy was trying to take me down by stealing my passion and desire, trying to kill my joy, and by destroying my purpose. Looking back, I realize my dwindling passion and desire led to my loss of heart and, therefore, a loss of my purpose as well.
As I have shared about the obstacles of passion and desire this week, it became more evident to me that they are also connected to purpose. The longer passion and desire are blocked, your heart has the greater potential of experiencing a loss of purpose. Without passion and desire as a foundation to fuel your heart (with focus, motivation, growth, and maturity), losing purpose also becomes a risk. All these factors show the importance of guarding your heart. If you didn’t realize this truth before, I hope it’s becoming clearer as you have read all the ways in which these obstacles have hindered me. I pray you can avoid the same struggles I have overcome in the past several years and that it forces you to become proactive in protecting your heart. “Be sober [well balanced and self-disciplined], be alert and cautious at all times. That enemy of yours, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion [fiercely hungry], seeking someone to devour,” remains a good reminder to be vigilant from 1 Peter 5:8. Please take this prayerfully into consideration and do not leave your heart vulnerable to enemy attacks. “Ultimately, overcoming these obstacles requires self-awareness, resilience, and a willingness to adapt and persevere.” (Google AI Overview)
I am excited to share next week from the second lesson we learned in creating our own garden, “Ask the experts.” I will be sharing some practical advice we learned as well as some spiritual insight in my fourth post, which will be called, “Inquiring Minds Want to Know.”
I also look forward to hearing your plan for heart recovery if you are like me and have faced obstacles of passion and desire in the past. Perhaps this is all new to you, but now you realize the importance of protecting your heart. I would equally love to hear your plan to safeguard your heart in the days ahead.
Much love and Blessings,
Songs that inspired me while writing this post:
-Jonathan and Melissa Helser “First Love”
https://youtu.be/R22DtL-mC-o?si=GTPooADUYzzV1nI7
-Jeremy Camp “One Desire”
https://youtu.be/woz1fp1qX6I?si=0yERLTGZ4cKsVmfn
-Kim Walker-Smith “Returning”
https://youtu.be/OTE2OnSczmk?si=5FAjVHNXWUQtgQhy
-Steven Curtis Chapman “Magnificent Obsession”
https://youtu.be/cel_O-qy0i0?si=ZhBgCnKNhFMJknco
Special note: Each song has spoken to my heart in a special way throughout my journey. Music has become a way in which the Father speaks life into my heart and soul, like a soothing balm (Zephaniah 3:17). I believe music is one of those “universal” languages. Sometimes you simply can’t put things into words, but music helps express your heart in a way your head can wrap itself around.